hI there and thank you for visiting my collection agency page for the oblivious nymphos who sell crack on the streets to finance their own sex change operations so they can have sex with a washing machine being the gender they never was. this quick project is to be a page saluting my drunkedness. i am happy aS CHARCOAL WAX ON A giraffe farmer because i just had 5 shots of jack daniels (he's my man, the best darn tennis slugger in the entire barnyard 'look how big my big toenail is' bazaar (hey, i can spell that word even when im drunk). hey jack, are you in there?? i hear you refrigerator! i'll make sure you're not empty! (that was phoenix's idea) hang on for a sec cuz i need to go drain the lizard. okay im back. that was very refreshing. phoenix's toilet is a comedian, just ask him. i never get tired of hearing it burping like a pigeon on crak. okay, anyway, oh shi5t, i forgot what i was goinmg to type. oh well i'll fix that typo in the morning. phoenix has glasses on and looks like mr. kotter just got a nosejob and got his face stuck in the gas grill. no but i'm kidding cuz really phoenix is a fine looking man, a handsome man if i do say so myself, a man i'd pump if i was gay, i hope you don't mind me saying that phoenix, a man ..i think i'll stop there.. am man who will jab that wooden sword up my ass if i don't stop saying hes handsome. anyway phoenix just went to into to the other room the living room where the magic glutton poo monsters live to watch some more of the porno i bought tonight when i was runk... oh wait i wasn't drunk then... but i did buy one porno and it sucked so i got some scissors (damn i am good at spelling when im drunk) and cut the tape and returned it and got a better one free... heeheehee im evil... and hes watching at least i think thats what hes doing cuz i can't tell cuz i cunt see him from here................. anyway just cuz i buy pornos doesnt mean i am not sensitive to a girls feeluings so dont think thast... i alsop do not get drunk very opften this is the first tuime in like 7 months or so but i am a crazy man when i do... oh yeah and i love my fdriends and they are the best on the planet and i love them too to death,,, especially you sarahbear...... ya i can remememember you r name even when i am drunk muy snow angel......... i think ill skip a line now
okay that was fun. i think i'l;l just take this opportunity to say cantaloupe rules and i wanted some when i was in my austin powers jacket and porpeller hat earlier at the grocery store but ti didn't get any cuz i didn't. my faith in the fathomness in the unfaithful mermaids of obliviion has been marred by steep crouton giants unlike yourselves... that is why i have been forced to release the spell of Astiroth upon you to rid your foul daughters of harsh, closed minds like yours and rid the city of the stench of the broken dandelions and mangled prophets of your seas. i will release my hounds of hell upon your tacos and break your wenches of their evil ways in the nature of the great rock munsters who so unmercifully crushed your stomachs with the weight of their truths. but hear me: their truths were not of stone, but of an oozing gel that can only be found percolating in the cold hearts of mindless cavern-wonderers searching for the eternal hamster that will rid them of themselves. these foul beats fear not the guilt of their conscience pounding upon their minds when they realize they have no chance of stopping my armies of monkeys, but rather the wrath of my drunkedness as i stammer unrecognizable sentences upon them and expell them from our brown earth by using my magic powers and the will to LIVE and fIGHT for others rights to being able to buy banana peels on thursdays, so their children can sleep without fear in their hearts, so the monsters will not rape their children and leave their grandmothers decapitated for the bowel monkeys... okay that last part was gross. and now phoenix says he will fall asleep if i dont stop now and i wouldnt want that to happen cuz we still have all night to party, and he just said schnarfelpopper, and i think that's pretty cool. anyway i just weant to take this last chance to tell everybody i love them, even you michelle, wait i dont know anybody named michelle. oops........... but really, even if youre not my friend i love you because you are my ally against the evil crouton monsters. bye bye and good riddance cuz i love you. it sounds like phoenix's neighbour is raping the dog again. shut up dog!!!
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